Marc Topkin’s latest article for the St. Pete Times has a bunch of notes in it worth mentioning…

More stuff on the B.J. Upton super-utility role. I have a hard time getting excited about this, Sure, the word on the street is that B.J. can mash, but he plays defense like he’s wearing a hallowed out log on his glove hand. I mean, I guess you can toss him at every position and hope he sticks somewhere, but all that means is that every day that he is playing – unless its at DH – you’ve got a tremendous defensive liability to deal with. Maddon says he thinks that they are going to take the pressure OFF by having him play a number of different positions and focus less on defense. How is trying to learn a number of new positions supposed to take pressure off? What do I know – I’m just a guy who sits here writing about things that other people say.

Rays doing yoga. Its funny, but all I could think about when I read this was comedian Brian Regan’s bit about how he tried yoga once, and couldn’t do any of it. Funny stuff. I think it was on his Comedy Central special if you’re interested. Check it out from the Brian Regan Myspace page. Speaking of Brian, he’s going to be in Orlando in June, but tickets cost like 4540923gf309 dollars. What? That’s not a real number? Okay, its more lke $42.

Seth McLung lifts weights to help arm slot, has a flowing red mane. Cut your hair, you hippie! Ah, I’m just kidding Seth. You know what else is going to be key? THROWING STRIKES! I sure hope the weightlifting works, because if it doesn’t, I’m going to rally the troops and put a voodoo curse on your arm to help you throw strikes at the expense of that lovely crimson hair you’ve got going.

I have no comment on what Bronson Arroyo said. No, seriously. I don’t. Move along. If you’re waiting for me to say something like, "It’s Bronson’s right to say…." WAIT A MINUTE! You almost got me there. You clever, clever shrew.

On Carl Everett still being available. That’s because he’s a non-factor now. He’s old, broken down, and doesn’t have any of the tools left that got him to the show. If there’s a GM out there that signs him, I am going to write hundreds of unflattering, whimsical words about how that guy must be one of the worst GMs in baseball.

And finally, line of the day goes to this gem from the note about Aki.

While Iwamura said Uwajima is known for tangerines and yellowtails, its
"principal claim of fame" – and this is straight from the Rays media
guide – is the Taga-jinja Shrine, a "giant phallus carved out of log."
The 12-foot carving is part of an ancient fertility shrine and adjacent
to a sex museum.

So, ladies and gentlemen, Aki comes from the sexiest place on earth. I was thinking of putting together a road trip. Anyone want to come along?